he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
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