the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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