Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize