Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
