On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Randomize
