Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize