Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
