ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
