I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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