...so i touched it.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Randomize
