What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
