Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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