I seem to have left my pride at pride
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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