in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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