Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
