youre lurking in front of me
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
