I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize