I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
