covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
