i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
