I'm eating all of the evidence.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
