how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize