don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize