last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
