i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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