i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
