she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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