But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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