Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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