I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Terrible idea I love it
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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