If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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