Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
