All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
