I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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