I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Randomize