Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
