He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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