I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize