I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
