that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
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Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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