Pants 0. Shit 1.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
