I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
