see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
