It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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