Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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