I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
