just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
