My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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