Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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