I'm drive I can fine osifer
ugly people sure do ruin things
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
