This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
