Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
