can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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