Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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