Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.