are you wasted or are you getting laid?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?