We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.