We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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