cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
