This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
false alarm, still single
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
